Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Ryba Zapiekana w Sosie Chrzanowym

Wow that's some name!
To put you out of your misery,
we are led to believe
it's Polish baked fish and horseradish.

One and half pounds fish fillets.
An ounce of melted butter.
A teaspoon of vinegar.
Some salt.
Three and a half ounces grated horseradish.
1 medium apple, peeled and chopped fine.
Six fluid ounces soured cream.
Some sugar.

Dabble fish with salt and vinegar.
Put in buttered baking pan with melted butter.
Bake in oven two hundred degrees C., for ten minutes.
Mix apple with horseradish, stir in cream and season with salt and sugar.
Pour sauce over fish and bake for another fifteen minutes.
It goes well with boiled potatoes.

Imagine ordering the above with two penneth at the local chippy!

Chefs tip. Be sure to wash hands well after working with Horseradish.

The above recipe is printed in good faith and we apologise to anyone who feels aggrieved at the procedure.

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Soap and Tortoise

One dozy rambling tomato
Two teapots guano
Ate hooves larger
One teapot round coming seeds
One teapot time
One teapot major ram
Three teapots round block popper
One small iron
Four pipe arododos
Ate dunces moskito weeze
One pound cubic kicking feet
Ten warm tortoises
Two warts kicking clock

On a barge soap top eat one table oil and salute iron and larger. In a bowel plunder tomato, guano, coming seed, major ram, time, block popper and wart of kicking clock. Plunder till sooth and dickwid........cut tortoises into strips and fry in oil till crisp....

The above recipe left me very puzzled when it came over the Net from the Antipodes. However once the code was broken all, at least nearly all, became clear. It would appear the correspondent was having problems with their spell checker. Alternatively the cook may have been on the glosters.
So much for modern technology.

Hmmm! And they say computers make life easier. Let’s try again. Thanks to some scratching of heads and lateral thinking here’s a translation. What follows is based on much trial and error but it works.

Soup and Tortillas

1 dozen tomatoes.
(Plum tomatoes appear best).
2 teaspoons oregano*.
8 cloves garlic.
1 teaspoon cumming seed.
(Freshly ground).
1 teaspoon thyme*.
1 teaspoon marjoram*.
(Careful, dried is stronger than fresh*).
3 teaspoons black pepper.
(Freshly ground).
1 onion.
(I decided a small onion would be enough).
4 ripe avocados.
8 ozs., mozzarella cheese.
1 pound cubed chicken meat.
(For safety meat must be freshly cooked).
10 tortillas.
4 pints chicken stock.


Heat about 1 tablespoon of oil in a Dutch oven or large pan.
Sauté onion and garlic but don’t let them brown.
I couldn’t understand the plundering bit but decided they used
a food mixer or something similar.
Put tomatoes, herbs, spices and two pints of stock into a blender
and blend till very smooth.
Add this to other two pints in pan or Dutch oven and bring to the boil.
Turn down to a fast simmer.
Cut tortillas into strips and fry in hot oil until crisp.

Serving suggestion

Fill bowls about half way with crisp tortillas.
Add the avocados and chicken, a portion to each bowl.
(Chicken must be hot).
Cover with grated cheese.
Finally pour hot soup over cheese, tortillas and chicken in bowls.

It served four to six people but you could vary the amounts to suit.